-1 day

130 days since I started this blog, and indeed this whole marathon project, seems like such a long time ago. I had visions at that time of writing this post bathed in victory, sore but contented with the knowledge that I had put 26.2 miles behind me.
Sadly it didn't work out that way. After 15 miles in the sweltering heat, I started to flag, and every water station seemed to be further and further away. After 19 miles I didn't think I could run any more, and after 20.7 miles I found myself swerving around the road. I pulled over at a Red Cross Ambulance, and dazed in and out for an hour waiting for a paramedic. I remember lying there at some point almost in tears with frustration that my body couldn't handle the heat and that I would return home without having finished.
Since that point, I've done a lot of talking and a lot of thinking and I think I've got to a point where it makes sense. It still hurts that I didn't get round, but the more I think about it, the more I'm not sure if that was the point. I set out on this project with 3 aims; to pay tribute to Patrick by celebrating his memory, to raise as much money as possible for charity, and to run a marathon. I think I succeeded on the first two in a huge way. I've had so many emails and messages sharing thoughts and memories about Patrick that I want to find some way of putting them together in a book. I've now raised over £1700 for Epilepsy Research UK. And I pushed my body to it's limits, to the point where I couldn't physically run any more. So for that it's success, in my eyes.
This was brought home to me when I came back to my fundraising page this morning. I titled this project "26 miles for Patrick", with the thought that the marathon was the focus. In actual fact, I've run 4 or 5 times a week for the last 17 weeks, averaging around 25 miles a week, so in those terms, it's more like "400 miles for Patrick". I've spent so many hours out on the road, thinking about Patrick and keeping his memory going, and many more hours talking to people about him, people who never knew him, but now hold a little piece of him through me. And in that persepctive, what difference does 5.5 miles make? Here's to you, Patrick; a gentleman and a gentle man. Let you be remembered like that always.