130 days since I started this blog, and indeed this whole marathon project, seems like such a long time ago. I had visions at that time of writing this post bathed in victory, sore but contented with the knowledge that I had put 26.2 miles behind me.
Sadly it didn't work out that way. After 15 miles in the sweltering heat, I started to flag, and every water station seemed to be further and further away. After 19 miles I didn't think I could run any more, and after 20.7 miles I found myself swerving around the road. I pulled over at a Red Cross Ambulance, and dazed in and out for an hour waiting for a paramedic. I remember lying there at some point almost in tears with frustration that my body couldn't handle the heat and that I would return home without having finished.
Since that point, I've done a lot of talking and a lot of thinking and I think I've got to a point where it makes sense. It still hurts that I didn't get round, but the more I think about it, the more I'm not sure if that was the point. I set out on this project with 3 aims; to pay tribute to Patrick by celebrating his memory, to raise as much money as possible for charity, and to run a marathon. I think I succeeded on the first two in a huge way. I've had so many emails and messages sharing thoughts and memories about Patrick that I want to find some way of putting them together in a book. I've now raised over £1700 for Epilepsy Research UK. And I pushed my body to it's limits, to the point where I couldn't physically run any more. So for that it's success, in my eyes.
This was brought home to me when I came back to my fundraising page this morning. I titled this project "26 miles for Patrick", with the thought that the marathon was the focus. In actual fact, I've run 4 or 5 times a week for the last 17 weeks, averaging around 25 miles a week, so in those terms, it's more like "400 miles for Patrick". I've spent so many hours out on the road, thinking about Patrick and keeping his memory going, and many more hours talking to people about him, people who never knew him, but now hold a little piece of him through me. And in that persepctive, what difference does 5.5 miles make? Here's to you, Patrick; a gentleman and a gentle man. Let you be remembered like that always.
Monday, 24 May 2010
Wednesday, 5 May 2010
17 days
So it's been a while since I've posted on here, and in some ways things have changed, and in some way they haven't.
Things that haven't changed: I'm still running, my feet and legs are still in (reasonably) good nick (touch wood!), my parkrun times hover obstinately around the 21:30 minute mark, my average speed on the road remains around 9 minutes a mile, I'm still juggling a busy worklife, social life, married life and running life (though to be honest I'll pleased when it's done!).
What has changed: the amount of money I've raised at www.justgiving.com/Ben-Wolfson which now stands at almost £1500...I'm very proud of myself (and money keeps trickling in!), the amount that I eat has risen dramatically, my sense of distance (more of which anon) and I think my belief in the reality of this project.
When I say sense of distance, it's more than just knowing how far a mile is, or how far it is to different parts of Leeds. I think it boils down to considering what is a reasonable run, and what counts as a different run. For example, last year, during my 1000 mile run, the longest I went for was around 7 miles, and I distinctly remember coming back from that one completely wiped out. When i started this training, I was really nervous all week about my first 9 mile run, and then the mental barrier (i.e. "oh my god, I don't think I'll hack that!") moved to 12 miles. That came and went, and I was stood in Jim and Claire's garden in a complete mess, covered in salt tracks. Then 15 miles with Harry, followed by an 18 miler soon after. I peaked in my training with 20 miles on Monday, and was surprised at how my mindset has changed. I got to half-way, and didn't feel too bad, and it didn't seem to have taken that long, even though just 2 months earlier, I had been bricking it about a total run of 9 miles. I think the knowledge that I could run 18 miles and be OK helped, cos i knew it would only be the final 2 miles that I needed to worry about, and in the end, 2 miles isn't so far. I guess that will be the same with the marathon, that I know what it feels like to run 20 miles, and then it's just (ha!) another 6 on top. I definitely feel for the first time like I'll be able to finish it, which if I'm honest, has always been a slight concern in the back of my mind. But now, it's definitely do-able. Even if I won't be able to move the next day.
Things that haven't changed: I'm still running, my feet and legs are still in (reasonably) good nick (touch wood!), my parkrun times hover obstinately around the 21:30 minute mark, my average speed on the road remains around 9 minutes a mile, I'm still juggling a busy worklife, social life, married life and running life (though to be honest I'll pleased when it's done!).
What has changed: the amount of money I've raised at www.justgiving.com/Ben-Wolfson which now stands at almost £1500...I'm very proud of myself (and money keeps trickling in!), the amount that I eat has risen dramatically, my sense of distance (more of which anon) and I think my belief in the reality of this project.
When I say sense of distance, it's more than just knowing how far a mile is, or how far it is to different parts of Leeds. I think it boils down to considering what is a reasonable run, and what counts as a different run. For example, last year, during my 1000 mile run, the longest I went for was around 7 miles, and I distinctly remember coming back from that one completely wiped out. When i started this training, I was really nervous all week about my first 9 mile run, and then the mental barrier (i.e. "oh my god, I don't think I'll hack that!") moved to 12 miles. That came and went, and I was stood in Jim and Claire's garden in a complete mess, covered in salt tracks. Then 15 miles with Harry, followed by an 18 miler soon after. I peaked in my training with 20 miles on Monday, and was surprised at how my mindset has changed. I got to half-way, and didn't feel too bad, and it didn't seem to have taken that long, even though just 2 months earlier, I had been bricking it about a total run of 9 miles. I think the knowledge that I could run 18 miles and be OK helped, cos i knew it would only be the final 2 miles that I needed to worry about, and in the end, 2 miles isn't so far. I guess that will be the same with the marathon, that I know what it feels like to run 20 miles, and then it's just (ha!) another 6 on top. I definitely feel for the first time like I'll be able to finish it, which if I'm honest, has always been a slight concern in the back of my mind. But now, it's definitely do-able. Even if I won't be able to move the next day.
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