61 days

A long time since my last post on here, and a lot has changed since then. I think the biggest news is that I’ve smashed my £1,000 target, and I’ve set my self a new goal of £1,500. The fundraising side of it has calmed down a bit, but there’s still a few more pockets of people (Kelsey’s family and my school to name but two) who I still need to pester.

It feels good to have that much support for this run, and support is crucial right now as the runs are becoming longer and the training becomes more intensive. Instead of just getting out and hitting the road 3 times during the week, the schedule is now calling for fartlek training (a heart attack in a can, sprinting then walking then jogging then sprinting, repeat until you can’t run any more), hill runs (I’m using my hill; for those who have been to our house, you’ll know how difficult that one is!) and speed variations. It’s never more than 6 miles or so, so it doesn’t eat too much into the evening, but at the same time, it’s a lot more hard work, so I feel more tired when I get back.

It does however make a difference to my running stamina and speed. My P.B. for the Leeds parkrun is just over 21 minutes, down by over 4 minutes when I started doing it in January. I also ran 15 miles (my furthest ever distance!) yesterday with Harry, and whilst my feet blistered a bit and my back aches today, we weren’t out of breath and were feeling like we could have run a few miles more. It’s interesting to see how the short runs in the week actually build up your endurance even though it doesn’t feel like you’re going very far at all!

The 15 miles also represents a bit of a milestone, in that it’s the first time where I’ve run over half way. Up till now, it’s been 25% or 40% of the marathon, whilst 15 miles is almost 60%, meaning that at that point I would have less to run than I already had done, if that makes sense. Whilst I’m not sure that I could have done another 11 miles on Sunday, the 26.2 mile total feels more realistic and much less scary.

The other main push that I have, apart from the fundraising support, is Patrick sort of sitting on my shoulder. I know that this is a Patrick that I’ve created, and one that my brain wants to be there to push me on, but it really helps to focus me on days when I’d really rather just be at home. It’s coming up to a year now, and I still can’t believe how raw it feels for a lot of people. His mother and I are in contact a lot, and I feel like she’s torn between wanting to find out more about the people who have shared memories with me, and hiding it away because it’s still painful to think about. In a way, I think the same is true for the rest of the family. We do talk about him, but not frequently, but enough to know that people are still grieving and remembering. Running gives me that space to think, and remember, so it seems fitting that Patrick is the voice in my head telling me to lace up my shoes and go sprint to the top of the hill and for that I’m grateful.