41 days

It seems only appropriate to write on here today, as it's one year ago I got the worst phone call from my mother. We were on holiday with a group of friends in the Lake District, and we had literally just arrived and unpacked our stuff. I almost didn't take the call as we had lots of things to do and sort out, and it just knocked me out. I cried so hard that I couldn't speak for ages, panicking Kelsey no end. The rest of the holiday was a bit of a wash out, as I was still reeling from the shock. To be honest, I think I still am. I've just been on his facebook page, and people are still remembering and thinking about him. It still doesn't quite seem real, that if I tried to text or call him, he wouldn't respond.
It's been an odd day, in sorts, and completely normal in other respects. I ran 18 miles with Harry today, and we talked about him a lot, and it was great being able to talk out loud about it (even though my breathing was kinda ragged at that point!). We then had a usual Sunday get together, stuffing ourselves with food and friends. I know it sounds weird, but I think that's the best tribute that I can pay to Patrick. Of course it's important to take some private time, and share your memories and thoughts with people, but Patrick in my mind was always such a social person, very people orientated, that it made sense to honour his memory by getting people together. We're also putting the final touches together for a second cousin's day in August, which I think again is another important way of remembering him. If nothing else good has come from this, I think it has made us all realise the importance of family and keeping in touch. Today is the first day for a long time that I've spoken to every branch of my family, for a short chat at least, and whilst we didn't talk about Patrick that much, it was very much a series of verbal hugs, making sure our bonds are still close. I know that I'm not that great at keeping in touch with my family, which I think drives them a little crazy, but I think over this last year I've made a bit more of an effort (getting people to read family emails definitely helps, as I'm not the best phone talker!). So Patrick's memory lives on through people's thoughts and actions, and in this way so does Patrick.